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Archives for musings

Emergency

Oh noes! Vegetable scrubbing carrot’s eyes have fallen out! No need to panic though as I performed emergency surgery using some glue.

Advances in toilet technology

So my work trips have taken a turn for the exotic and I’m in Taipei all week visiting a contract manufacturer (more on this later). The hotel has the very latest innovations in toilet technology! Looks like a normally toilet at first glance but behold the highly complex electronic control panel! Thankfully full instructions are […]

Magic Unicorn Story

At work last we week were subjected to an interminable two day “New Hire Workshop” despite having worked there for nearly three years. I learned all sorts of useful things like how to “ideate” and that I should be “training at the empowerment gym”. Hmm. Anyway, to pass the time I started writing a story […]

Boris Sighting

Out in Uxbridge buying lunch today who did I see but the almighty God-Emperor of Great Britain and prospective MP, Boris Johnson! In real life he’s somewhat shorter and paler than I imagined. Unfortunately I was so overcome with awe I didn’t go up and get my photo taken with him before the minder hustled […]

My Tree

A long long time ago I found an acorn next to the reservoir near our house. I carried it all the way home and planted it in my flower patch at the end of the garden. And now look: it grew into a mighty oak tree! At the time I planned to build a tree […]

New Character

Dear China, The character 蛋 for “egg” is confusing and illogical! I have recently invented a vastly superior character which I wish to offer royalty-free. If 鸟 “bird” + 山 “mountain” = 岛 “island” then obviously 鸟 + 生 “grow/birth” = “egg” (or perhaps “chick”). I have drawn below: please include in all fonts immediately. […]

Firefox Back to Normal

I’ve been stubbornly ignoring the recent updates to Firefox and using 24 ESR instead as the new Australis changes ruined what was a perfectly nice minimal UI. The biggest problem for me was the inability to move the address bar into the title bar: once you’re accustomed to this having it hanging below is a […]

Pie Rating

We’ve been hard at work in our office rating the 2014 mince pie selection. The Fortnum & Mason “traditional” pie is the current front runner. Although the M&S regular pie is a good choice on a more modest budget.

News at Bedtime

This is the funniest thing I’ve heard in ages: http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00pd34q/episodes/player

Metroland

I love almost everything about this programme: http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00cyyqw/metroland John Betjeman was a legend, although he was very wrong about Slough.